Wednesday, March 17, 2010
When to have a baby:Couples must decide
I am Roshni here again; Marriage was something out of a fairy tale. This was my second marriage so the fear I had about my first marriage used to trouble my mind and I used to get cautious when had to do groom selection. My first marriage was a nightmare. I had to go through a lot of shit with my in laws poking nose about my family planning or to go out with a gang of jerks tagging with my husband. On the second day of that marriage realised that husband is a bisexual guy. After reading a lot of Mills and Boons romantic books and coming across a husband who was 14 years older to me was traumatic at the age of 18. In laws and the husband used to pressurise me to be the cause of not having a child. Did a thorough check up by my gynaecologist, who did my mother’s delivery and I was born in her clinic, she told me that I am normal after seeing my ultra sound scans. Later it was found the actual problem was with the husband. Lived in the trauma for 2 ½ years with the taunts and still not able to accept “the Boy of the house had a problem” I convinced my parents to take me away. I fought for my divorce all alone with my childhood friend’s would be wife to my rescue. She along with her father fought my case and gave me freedom. I was happy bird and then family insisted that I should get married again. I agreed but whenever I used to meet someone I used to test the person whether he is also a gay. Finally I met Man of my dreams who was not a gay and we did a lot of testing with each other and we got married. He was aware of my ailment and I knew his problem. Till we got married everything looked like a dream with no one pressurising the child thing. We made an attractive promise “We will live with each other forever and we will never hide our emotions and express our emotions to each other” After marriage realised everyone seemed to be interested only in the good news and what was the good news not job, not studies but “when will you become Ma?” I realised you don’t marry a Man of your fairy tale you marry his family. Accepted. But to what extent? Isn’t it weird to be told by someone to have a child when you don’t even know whether the couple are ready and planned for the child? Today, women make decisions and are more independent but when it comes to bringing someone in this world it is not her decision, not her husband’s decision but it is family decision. Giving a child a good upbringing depends upon its parents’ balanced approach and the support of both able sets of grandparents. The child should have proper education, sense of security and it should be possible to tell him/ her they were God-send, not forced to be born. Then why should curious relatives and the entire neighbourhood be the cause of problems.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Rediscovering myself
My entire life came to a complete standstill when I discovered that I was suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. While interacting with the doctors, I realised that it was a new ailment in their dictionary, so they found a new bakra as a guinea pig. So I gave up and surrendered to them. Biology was my favourite subject in college, so I did my research and got a lot of explanations to clear my doubt.
I had made up mind that and decided to live normally. My motto was "Life is beautiful, so live it the way you want to. Whatever happens always happens for the best". I used to get the so called attacks, be on steroid drugs initially and then injections. These medications would pump in lot of energy and I would start running like a horse. I was happy. I was working for a good organization and was in a good position. My work was my passion. I had supportive parents and a lovable husband. I had a lot friends and popular among them. One day, a freak accident forced me to give up my job for my health condition. I could not walk properly. Last one year I faced a series of trauma which led to self pity and the fear to meet anyone as I thought I was no good to anyone and people are looking down at me as a handicap and this created tension with family and friends. I used to brood whenever given an opportunity.
I have a Doctor Uncle who had helped me get one of the best Neurologists who diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis. So Doctor Uncle wrote a lot of books. He gave me one of his book where he wrote that our body and added a special note for me where he mentioned that there is an additional force within every cell in our body which so far has not recognised, identified, respected and used. This is “Mind”, the preserver and destroyer. Nature is strictly guarding this secret. Today I realise what he told me is so true.
One of my friend suggested I go for homeopathic treatment. He recommended one of the best Homeopathy Doctor, who treated his wife and she could conceive and now they are proud parents of a baby boy. I was happy and wrote an email to the Doctor. She was in Malaysia. I started undergoing homeopathic treatment for my health condition after she decided to go ahead with my treatment. While treating me she recommended I should do EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) by Gary Craig. I searched through the website and could not find any practitioner in India. I used to receive the newsletters and read the articles and watch the videos but looking at the cost, I gave up the idea of doing it. Today I realise that it was just an excuse that I was giving myself.
Then finally I started browsing through the site again and found that there is a practitioner in India, I shared with my husband and he encouraged me to go ahead. I contacted her and I started the session from 21st December '09.
I came across my friend who is a Psychiatrist and has seen me through a lot of traumas I went through in the past. He also had guided me one of the best neurologist in the country who also recommended I should see some good Homeopath for alternative therapy. So, I told my friend my story and he gave me a book to read “Get Out of your own way” by Robert K Cooper. I started understanding what was going on in my brain and now I could relate to what Doctor Uncle, my Homeopathy Doctor who is a Holistic Doctor and my EFT specialist were working on.
Each time I had a session with EFT specialist; I could remember my traumas and share it with her. She made me feel so relaxed; and I could relate all my fears, anger and hatred that I had developed and which I had suppressed and become a closed person which I was not. She also gave me directions so I could open up and saw the positive side. I gave feedback to my Doctor who would always encourage me to see the positive side.
Today I don't regret my decision of taking the sessions under EFT specialist. She has not only helped me fight my ailment with a positive mind and made me open to it but also helped me improve my relation with my loved ones. Although I still find difficulty in my movements but it does not make me brood. I know how to handle it and not get worked up. Through EFT, my specialist guided me how to overcome my fears and anger that I developed for my health condition.
Today I don't feel like a loser and have started my passion without any fear. My family and friends are noticing the transformational change in me. Lot of ideas started pouring and I am living life in a more positive way with a smile.
I have realised that if I torture my ailment by being negative it will not help me but build in lot of stress which is harmful. I started loving my ailment and facing it with a smile. I know now I can have fewer attacks or no attacks at all if I become friendly with it by staying positive.
I had made up mind that and decided to live normally. My motto was "Life is beautiful, so live it the way you want to. Whatever happens always happens for the best". I used to get the so called attacks, be on steroid drugs initially and then injections. These medications would pump in lot of energy and I would start running like a horse. I was happy. I was working for a good organization and was in a good position. My work was my passion. I had supportive parents and a lovable husband. I had a lot friends and popular among them. One day, a freak accident forced me to give up my job for my health condition. I could not walk properly. Last one year I faced a series of trauma which led to self pity and the fear to meet anyone as I thought I was no good to anyone and people are looking down at me as a handicap and this created tension with family and friends. I used to brood whenever given an opportunity.
I have a Doctor Uncle who had helped me get one of the best Neurologists who diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis. So Doctor Uncle wrote a lot of books. He gave me one of his book where he wrote that our body and added a special note for me where he mentioned that there is an additional force within every cell in our body which so far has not recognised, identified, respected and used. This is “Mind”, the preserver and destroyer. Nature is strictly guarding this secret. Today I realise what he told me is so true.
One of my friend suggested I go for homeopathic treatment. He recommended one of the best Homeopathy Doctor, who treated his wife and she could conceive and now they are proud parents of a baby boy. I was happy and wrote an email to the Doctor. She was in Malaysia. I started undergoing homeopathic treatment for my health condition after she decided to go ahead with my treatment. While treating me she recommended I should do EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) by Gary Craig. I searched through the website and could not find any practitioner in India. I used to receive the newsletters and read the articles and watch the videos but looking at the cost, I gave up the idea of doing it. Today I realise that it was just an excuse that I was giving myself.
Then finally I started browsing through the site again and found that there is a practitioner in India, I shared with my husband and he encouraged me to go ahead. I contacted her and I started the session from 21st December '09.
I came across my friend who is a Psychiatrist and has seen me through a lot of traumas I went through in the past. He also had guided me one of the best neurologist in the country who also recommended I should see some good Homeopath for alternative therapy. So, I told my friend my story and he gave me a book to read “Get Out of your own way” by Robert K Cooper. I started understanding what was going on in my brain and now I could relate to what Doctor Uncle, my Homeopathy Doctor who is a Holistic Doctor and my EFT specialist were working on.
Each time I had a session with EFT specialist; I could remember my traumas and share it with her. She made me feel so relaxed; and I could relate all my fears, anger and hatred that I had developed and which I had suppressed and become a closed person which I was not. She also gave me directions so I could open up and saw the positive side. I gave feedback to my Doctor who would always encourage me to see the positive side.
Today I don't regret my decision of taking the sessions under EFT specialist. She has not only helped me fight my ailment with a positive mind and made me open to it but also helped me improve my relation with my loved ones. Although I still find difficulty in my movements but it does not make me brood. I know how to handle it and not get worked up. Through EFT, my specialist guided me how to overcome my fears and anger that I developed for my health condition.
Today I don't feel like a loser and have started my passion without any fear. My family and friends are noticing the transformational change in me. Lot of ideas started pouring and I am living life in a more positive way with a smile.
I have realised that if I torture my ailment by being negative it will not help me but build in lot of stress which is harmful. I started loving my ailment and facing it with a smile. I know now I can have fewer attacks or no attacks at all if I become friendly with it by staying positive.
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